What inspires me?  I have a lot of inspirations.  My students inspire me…I love to see the A-ha moments when the light bulbs go on and something new is learned.  I am inspired by students who come from “less than perfect” homes, only to strive for excellence and succeed.  I am inspired by my colleagues.  The competitive side of me wants to have the best ideas, strategies, and activities for my students and seeing what other teachers do gives me an incentive!  I am inspired by my faith.  Even on my darkest days, I have hope and I know that I am not alone.  That can be all it takes to keep me going.  Finally, I am inspired by my family.  When I look at my beautiful children, I think about how to be a better mommy to them.  When I go back to school to earn an advanced degree, it is with their futures in mind.  When I think about the past year and all that I have accomplished with the help of my husband, I am inspired.  I know that I can do anything if I set my mind to it.  I am trying to instill that same value in my children.  I hope that someday they can say that they were inspired be me!

I am reminded of Oprah…Last week she had a career consultant on her show talking with men and women who were “dissatisfied” with their current careers.  Of particular interest was a young woman, 29 or 30, who had been teaching for 7 years.  She was, to put in her own words, “burnt out”.  How sad, I thought…only seven years and now she is questioning her career decision on national television!  And yet, today as I administered the developmentally inappropriate yet state mandated CRCT and watched the unnecessary frustration on my student’s faces, I, too went home and dreamt of a job with hour-long lunch breaks, neat and organized offices with ample supplies, and supportive colleagues who are professional, polished, and productive. 

     But I know that tomorrow, I will walk back into my classroom and be the cheerleader, nurse, mother, friend, and teacher to all of my students.  I will focus on helping them be successful and give them the skills to be critical thinkers and problem solvers (even if it is not tested on the CRCT!)  As this EdS. program comes to an end, I think about how much I have changed as an educator this year.  I have come to “crave” the professional learning community that we have created and I am seeking out opportunities to continue this work next year, possibly on an administrative level.  It is here where I am hoping to effect greater change within my school and county and to help change the “culture” of our school.  I have never been one to accept the “status quo”  yet I do not see myself as an activist.  I consider myself to be positive in my thinking but also a realist and practical in my actions.  I “pick and choose my battles” carefully.  I am only one person.  Yet I also see the endless possibilities in learning communities where professionals are committed, focused, driven, and determined.  Social justice needs to begin in the classroom with the students.  Students need to determine the needs of their “communities” and develop realistic plans for attaining prescribed goals.  Teachers and administrators need to be the facilitators in that journey and model this type of behavior. 

     For now, I will continue to grow and seek out learning communities that validate and challenge my beliefs and values.  I am a life long learner.  And as my EdS. journey comes to an end and my second graders move on to third, I find great satisfaction in the differences I have made in their lives and the path that my career is taking me.  My journey may not be the same as everyone elses but it is my own.

One of the greatest benefits of “looping” this year has been the continued connection with my students and their families.  I have greater insight than most teachers based upon my extended experiences.  Of the 14 families in my second grade class, 13 work full time at at least one job.  However, I have learned that although these families are not available to volunteer in the classroom, they are more than committed to their students’ education and willing to do whatever they can to help out in other ways.  Throughout the year, I plan activites that require “extra supplies” that would need to be purchased by me, if not for the support of my students’ families.  Sending in recycled containers or baby pictures do not require any expense but show the connection to our classroom and willingness to get involved.  Research projects this year have generated a tremendous amount of parent support and involvement.  Many of my colleagues do not take part in these activities because they “assume” parents will not be receptive.  Like my students, I hold their families to high expectations and I have not been disappointed.

When I think about parent involvement from a school perspective, the results are mixed.  Monthly P.T.A. meetings where selected classrooms perform songs or skits generate large audiences for that particular grade level.  However, meetings held to offer suggestions regarding math and literature are sparingly attended.  I’m not sure our parents have a “voice” in our school?  We have the token “School Council” of which I have been a member and served to disseminate information to a select body of parents and community members.  However, the parents that served on the council were not representative of the majority of our working parents.  These parents need to be surveyed to truly see what the needs are of our students and parents.

In efforts to be a “full-service” school, a dental van regularly visits our school and offers free and reduced cost dental cleanings and restorative work.  We also offer an affordable after-school program for families who work.  Both services help to support our families.  We have also talked at the leadership level about the need to bridge the gap between our school and the local Boys and Girl Club.  Many of our students use this after-school resource and yet we work in isolation from each other.  “It takes a whole village to raise a child…”  It seems as though so much more could be accomplished with some type of school and community liaison.  This person (or agency) could listen to the needs of our families and students and help to coordinate services and agencies within our community, many of which already exist.  Hmm, maybe this could be the job for an educator with a newly acquired Specialist’s Degree??

When I think about assessment, I think back to my days in special education.  Each student was thoroughly evaluated using norm based measurement tools and based upon the results, an individualized educational plan (IEP) was developed.  The IEP contained goals and objectives for the individual student as well as strategies to achieve those goals.  Progress monitoring was scheduled in to ensure that students and teachers were on track for success.  I often thought, wouldn’t it be ideal if we could provide this type of experience for all of our students?   Fast forward out of special education for the past 3 years.  As a classroom teacher, the realities of 16 very different students in one classroom has hit me.  I am accountible for teaching one set of Georgia Performance Standards to 16 very different learners.  There is no room for individual differences!  I consider myself very adept at differentiating and modifying content for my varied ability students.  However, at the end of the day, they will all take one CRCT to which I am held accountable for…

I understand the need for accountability.  In many ways I think the CRCT is a valuable tool.  However, it should not be the only tool that we use to measure classroom success.  There are so many “teachable moments” that take place in my classroom that are not evaluated by this test.  It is frustrating when so much of my time is spent planning “centers”, small group work, and authentic assessments only to have my students success measured on a pencil and paper task.  I can only remain optimistic and creative in my teaching and use of authentic assessments.  Eventually, the state will catch up!

Having taught at my current school for the past 4 years, I have taken on the role as 2nd grade team leader.  In doing so, I now attend weekly “Leadership Team Meetings” and I am responsible for disseminating information to my colleagues.  The Leadership team is a diverse group made up of veteran teachers as well as teachers with less experience.  For the most part, it is a positive group of individuals truly committed to the goals of our school.  At my team level, the culture is much different.  Again, we are a diverse group differing in age and experience.  The biggest difference lies in our attitudes and beliefs about children and teaching.  Half of our team is truly committed to our students and doing what is necessary to ensure that all children are successful.  The other half of our team is less enthusiastic and at times very critical of our children, administration, and school.  This has caused great problems for our “team” this year.  As I talk with other team leaders, I have found out that this is common among many of our teams.  Collectively it contributes to a school culture that is divided.  If we do not share common beliefs or values, how can we manage to work together? 

     On the contrary, my sons attend a school in the same county only a few miles from my own where the climate and culture (at least to the parents) is much different from my home school.  Teachers work together as teams for the common good of students.  They are supported by administration and are willing to “go the extra mile” as evidenced by their participation in after school activities such as free tutoring, drama club activities, school dances and socials.  When I walk into the building, I truly feel as though it is a large extended family.  Teachers of various grade levels greet my sons by name and I am made to feel welcome and valued as a parent.  I’m not sure if it is just a coincidence, but this school also has some of the highest CRCT scores in the county.  Coincidence or not?

My journey this year to realize my “white identity” has been like a roller coaster ride.  At times I have been very passionate about my beliefs, other times I have felt very guilty and somewhat embarrassed by statements I have made.  Yet, I know that I have a long way to go and that I am still growing and changing.  I had mixed feelings about going to see Paul Gorski.  Would I be hearing the same rhetoric of all the multi-cultural chapters I have read?  Would I be made to feel further shame because I was white?  Or would I be transformed in my beliefs and begin my journey as an advocate for children around the world?  None of those things happened for me!  I was validated in my beliefs and experiences in many ways by what he described as my “socialization”.  My eyes were opened with his quiz and its relation to the distribution of wealth.  I was appreciative of his “what can I do now” strategies.  I was saddened to learn that I was not part of the middle class where I thought I belonged, but rather working class! 

     I think Paul Gorski has a serious and thoughtful message to share.  He was able to do it in an eloquent, passionate, and entertaining manner.  I would have liked to have heard him speak in a smaller forum.  I’d also still love to hear Ruby Payne speak and be able to compare the two opinions.  I’m sure the two together would make for an interesting debate!

I started this program last summer “color-blind” to the differences in my students.  After spending much time this summer discussing multi-cultural education and really examining my value and belief system, I began this school year with a different “lens”.  Looking for the “make and take” solutions of the ails of my students, I became increasingly frustrated with the lack of specific teaching strategies and solutions, and the generalizations and assumptions made about my culture and social class.  Ironically, when I walked into my new 2nd grade classroom, the previous teacher had left behind an assortment of materials.  Like any teacher I was thrilled with the extra dry erase markers and construction paper.  The biggest surprise was the series of Ruby Payne books left behind in a closet.  Until this past summer, I had never heard of Ruby Payne.  From what I could remember, she was a social activist and an authority about poverty and it’s implications for education.  I found it ironic that these were the books left behind for me!  I must admit, the books have a new spot on my bookshelf and although on my “to do list”, I haven’t gotten to reading them…that is until I read Gorski’s article this week.  There are obviously two completely different “schools of thought” presented by both authors.  School systems, colleges, and universities are dishing out lots of money to hear both presenters speak.  I’m sure that each person believes in their heart of hearts what the true issues of race, class, and poverty are truly about.  How can they be so different?  For me the jury is still out…I’m sure Gorski will be very persuasive in person on Tuesday!  I look forward to reading more about Ruby Payne and critically analyzing the information presented to me.  I’m a big believer in fate…I don’t think those books were left in my room by chance?! 

I really enjoyed the two articles that were written by Gorski and published on this website.  For me, it finally felt like practical solutions or suggestions in response to multi-cultural teaching!  I’m always looking for the “what can I do know in my classroom?” in response to our discussions.  These articles offered some great ideas…however, as I stated in class on Thursday, I really feel as though the suggestions made are just good teaching strategies for everyone and not reserved for multi-cultural groups!    The list of 20 Self Critical Things I Will Do caused me to really stop and think.  Again, I see these not only pertaining to my growth as an “equitable educator” but as a professional educator.  The need for continuous feedback (both positive and negative), seeing myself as a life-long learner, and continuous reflection on my practice have been the driving forces for me this year!  I have had a lot of opportunity to examine my identity this year and continue to see this as a life-long process, particularly when it comes to my White Identity and how it relates to my culturally diverse students.  I am a work in progress!  I look forward to seeing and hearing Gorski in person!

I was a special education teacher for more than 11 years…given that background, I was trained in behavior modification, positive reinforcers, and classroom/behavior management!  It was always my job to shape behaviors, mostly inappropriate!  I still strongly believe in many of those principles and have been able to apply them to the “regular” classroom and my own children.  I think that every child and classroom is unique and what may work with one child or class may not work with another.  It’s all about balance…I strongly believe in “logical consequences” for children whenever possible.  If you break it, you fix it…if you hurt someone, make it right, etc.  I’m also a big fan of positive reinforcement “gimmicks” in my classroom.  I’ve used everything from sticker charts, to marble jars, to raffle tickets, to candy.  I was really surprised and curious to learn more about the programs discussed during Thursday’s class that eliminate any type of “tangible reinforcers”.  I understand the idea in theory…but it comes down to the question of intrinsic motivation…Do all children have it?   I know that I love my job but I think that I would  question my committment to it if I didn’t get a paycheck each week!  I think we all could use a little “boost” or a pat on the back when we do a good job.  Once again, it all comes down to balance.  I don’t “reward” my students for every single accomplishment in my room.  I also encourage them to evaluate their own work (and behavior) to determine if it is their best, provide rubrics and exemplars to help with expectations, and offer constructive feedback on assignments and not just the global “Good Job”.  I don’t want my students becoming completely dependent on me for the evaluation of their work or solely eliciting my opinion to validate their efforts.  But for now, in second grade, I’m going to stick with my sticker charts and “catch em being good” reward systems.  It’s working!

I’ve thought a lot about what Rhina said on Thursday…what if an outside observer, new to our educational settings observed my classroom.  What would they think was happening and what are my students actually learning?  How do I help my students construct meaning from specialized lesson plans in various content areas?  This year as I began teaching second grade and familiarizing myself with all the standards, I became somewhat overwhelmed with all there was to teach and master.  An administrator’s blanket response was to “integrate” the curriculum.  Sounds good in theory except when you get to the point in the year when you are being asked to teach about the Solar System and Native Americans at the same time!  There were some loose connections to be made in terms of constellations and the Native Americans use of the sun and moon but to most second graders (and outside observers) the two subjects did not integrate well. 

If I look at my basic values and belief that it is my responsibility to prepare my students to be successful, productive members of society, then my students’ knowledge of basic skills and the ability to read and write fluently should be priorities in my curriculum.  That is a truth in second grade.  Everything that I do revolves around those requisite skills.  Along the way, I am also teaching my students to be problem solvers, to ask critical questions, and to analyze information.  Hopefully they are also learning about kindness, respect, and friendship…qualities that will not help them achieve a perfect score on the CRCT, or earn me the status of Master Teacher, but will better enable them to be successful, contributing, HAPPY, members of society!