My journey this year to realize my “white identity” has been like a roller coaster ride.  At times I have been very passionate about my beliefs, other times I have felt very guilty and somewhat embarrassed by statements I have made.  Yet, I know that I have a long way to go and that I am still growing and changing.  I had mixed feelings about going to see Paul Gorski.  Would I be hearing the same rhetoric of all the multi-cultural chapters I have read?  Would I be made to feel further shame because I was white?  Or would I be transformed in my beliefs and begin my journey as an advocate for children around the world?  None of those things happened for me!  I was validated in my beliefs and experiences in many ways by what he described as my “socialization”.  My eyes were opened with his quiz and its relation to the distribution of wealth.  I was appreciative of his “what can I do now” strategies.  I was saddened to learn that I was not part of the middle class where I thought I belonged, but rather working class! 

     I think Paul Gorski has a serious and thoughtful message to share.  He was able to do it in an eloquent, passionate, and entertaining manner.  I would have liked to have heard him speak in a smaller forum.  I’d also still love to hear Ruby Payne speak and be able to compare the two opinions.  I’m sure the two together would make for an interesting debate!

I started this program last summer “color-blind” to the differences in my students.  After spending much time this summer discussing multi-cultural education and really examining my value and belief system, I began this school year with a different “lens”.  Looking for the “make and take” solutions of the ails of my students, I became increasingly frustrated with the lack of specific teaching strategies and solutions, and the generalizations and assumptions made about my culture and social class.  Ironically, when I walked into my new 2nd grade classroom, the previous teacher had left behind an assortment of materials.  Like any teacher I was thrilled with the extra dry erase markers and construction paper.  The biggest surprise was the series of Ruby Payne books left behind in a closet.  Until this past summer, I had never heard of Ruby Payne.  From what I could remember, she was a social activist and an authority about poverty and it’s implications for education.  I found it ironic that these were the books left behind for me!  I must admit, the books have a new spot on my bookshelf and although on my “to do list”, I haven’t gotten to reading them…that is until I read Gorski’s article this week.  There are obviously two completely different “schools of thought” presented by both authors.  School systems, colleges, and universities are dishing out lots of money to hear both presenters speak.  I’m sure that each person believes in their heart of hearts what the true issues of race, class, and poverty are truly about.  How can they be so different?  For me the jury is still out…I’m sure Gorski will be very persuasive in person on Tuesday!  I look forward to reading more about Ruby Payne and critically analyzing the information presented to me.  I’m a big believer in fate…I don’t think those books were left in my room by chance?! 

I really enjoyed the two articles that were written by Gorski and published on this website.  For me, it finally felt like practical solutions or suggestions in response to multi-cultural teaching!  I’m always looking for the “what can I do know in my classroom?” in response to our discussions.  These articles offered some great ideas…however, as I stated in class on Thursday, I really feel as though the suggestions made are just good teaching strategies for everyone and not reserved for multi-cultural groups!    The list of 20 Self Critical Things I Will Do caused me to really stop and think.  Again, I see these not only pertaining to my growth as an “equitable educator” but as a professional educator.  The need for continuous feedback (both positive and negative), seeing myself as a life-long learner, and continuous reflection on my practice have been the driving forces for me this year!  I have had a lot of opportunity to examine my identity this year and continue to see this as a life-long process, particularly when it comes to my White Identity and how it relates to my culturally diverse students.  I am a work in progress!  I look forward to seeing and hearing Gorski in person!